Was it all a dream?
by Miss Barbara
Summary: Tag to Endgame, so spoilers for that episode. Tim's POV.


This is a tag to endgame, so big spoilers there!

It is of course Tim centric.

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I do not own NCIS, the recognizable characters and not even the storyline. I did however write this story. I never wrote a POV story before, so be nice to me.

People always say that there are soul mates for everyone in this world. I don't believe that, not anymore. Personalities can match, interests can match or there can be a spark.

I felt the spark when I met Amanda, she was funny, smart and cute. And even though I am not that spontaneous I decided to go for it. Tony called and I couldn't be more happy. Of course I could have put the coffee down, but what would be the fun in that?

She went along and helped me out. Tony would be so proud of me if he knew what I had done.

One thing lead to an other and a little later that day I was laying in her bed, very, very satisfied. It's not a thing that normally happens to me, but going with the flow had worked out pretty good to me so far. I had to go back to work after wards but she said that she didn't mind.

* * *

I was more than confused when she showed up at the bullpen. It's a bad idea to tell on the first date or the 9 dates that followed that one that you work for a federal agency, so how did she knew where I work? I was sure I never told her.

During the elevator ride down I wanted to ask her, but she kissed me in stead and my hormones took over, we agreed on a date later and she left, leaving me with this gut feeling something wasn't right.

There was unease for the rest of the day, walking around, visiting Abby more than once, preparing the questions in my head.

She was there, just like we agreed on. She was different, I felt it. But before I figured out what was happening she had a gun pulled, asking me about Kai.

It all happened in a flash, Amanda trying to point her gun at me, someone shooting Amanda. Looking around I saw it was Kai. Somehow my FLETC training shut down and I kneeled on the ground next to her. It was a lost cause, to many holes in her torso, to many blood. Somehow I wasn't sure if I wanted her to survive. I really liked her, but the girl I was falling in love with didn't carry a gun and most certainly didn't knew Asian assassins.

Time went by, paramedics came and pulled me aside. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, but suddenly Gibbs was there. I heard him talking, but I had no clue what he was saying. Moment later I was in the car with Tony driving, he didn't say anything, but he gave me a brief hug before leaving me in Abby's lab.

Abby didn't say anything, she just hugged me and guided me to a chair. She sat me down and hugged me again. Her mouth started moving but I didn't hear her. I heard gunshots over and over again. She held my hands, but I didn't feel it. I only felt sticky blood and a cold body pressed against mine.

I was reliving the moment time after time. If I could only scream or run away from it all, but I couldn't. So I sat there, as a lifeless doll.

As suddenly as it started everything came back to me, waking up from the fog my head was in. I heard Abby going on about how sorry she felt for me. I moved my arms and managed to wrap them around her. Her heartbeat comforted me, her warm skins upon mine showed me that she was still alive. I felt tears slide down my cheeks, but I didn't bother to wipe them away. They hit her shoulder and she didn't care.

She let go of me and I wanted to scream, I wanted to beg her to not let me go, but she started to unbutton my shirt and my pants, guiding me to her ballistics lab. She had a bowl of warm water and a washcloth prepared and careful she scrubbed the blood of my skin. She dried me and clothed me again. I want to move, but every single one of my limbs was to heavy.

She set me down on a chair with wheels and pushed me to the elevator. He just sat there as she explained that there was a debriefing with Vance. She pushed me in front of the door and squatted before me.

"I know that it doesn't seem like it, and I have no clue about how you feel. But if there is one thing I know it is that you are going to find a special girl, you are going to love her, and she will love you more. She bakes cookies for you, which you share with me."she said smiling. "You are going to have a whole bunch of beautiful and smart children. She will be waiting for you when you get home at night. You will get that. Because, there is now way that a perfect guy like you will not get that. So hang in there."

Somehow her words cheered me up a little, just a little, but enough to stand up, give her a hug and walk in to Vances office.

I sat there in that chair, Gibbs was there, and Vance was there, and I was there, but I didn't feel like her. Amanda's picture was on the screen and they told me that she wasn't Amanda, that she probably hadn't been in love with me and that it was all fake.

Gibbs asked me how I was doing and I think I answered that I was fine, but everyone knew that it was a lie. Never been a good at telling lies, never will be. So I just stood up and walked out of the directors office, right in the arms of Abby.

I just hugged her and she hugged me back. After this day I just wanted to go home, lay in bed an forget everything. And somehow Abby seemed to know just that. She took my hand and walked me to the bullpen. She gathered my things while I continued staring at the screen. There she was, my Amanda, suddenly Ziva seemed to notice and clicked the image away.

Abby grabbed my hand and dragged me to my car. She drove, and that was a good thing. I don't think I know how to drive anymore. My body felt numb and moving was hard.

She guided me in to my apartment. I sat down in my computer chair.

"I am going to make you some food and after that you are going to take a shower." Abby told me.

She walked in to my kitchen, but I wasn't really hungry. I stood up and walked over to my bedroom. I lay down on the bed and somehow tears started to spill. I sobbed and cried until I felt Abby climb with me in bed and she held me, just giving me the comfort I needed.

I wasn't, not just yet, but with some time and me friends I knew I would be.

Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.


End file.
